Words ???are powerful. Words spoken by a parent to a child are very powerful and often can carry far more weight and impact than we realize, so as parents we should choose our words carefully.  With that in mind, here are:
5 Things You Should Never Say To Your Kids
1) F#&*! – You need only watch prime time TV to understand that our standards of what words are acceptable on television have been substantially reduced over the years. Â George Carlin‘s (R.I.P.) infamous “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television” are all practically standard fare on Cable TV and at least two or three of them have crept their way into acceptability in broadcast TV. Â Despite what we watch and how we may speak amongst adult friends and co-workers, we should never use such language when talking with our kids, no matter what their age. Â There are times when I enjoy cursing like a drunken sailor, and even times when it is sort of appropriate (amongst adults), but if I use those words with my kids, I am sending them all sorts of wrong signals. Â Yes, they are aware of and use “the F word” and other expletives, but it is different when they hear it in a conversation with mom or dad. Â This is one case where I think a “double standard” is for the best.
2) “Shut Up!” – I worked as a Camp Counselor for many years at Camp Winadu in Pittsfield Mass, and one of the great policies they had was that we were not allowed to say “Shut Up” to the campers and we were instructed to treat it as a “dirty word.” Â We shared that with the kids in our charge and discouraged them from using the phrase as well. I have tried to carry that rule with me as a parent as I agree with the wisdom of Winadu that “shut up” is insensitive and inappropriate. Â There should never be a situation where not allowing someone to say something is an option.
3) “…or else…” – How many times have you said to one of your kids, “You’d better not do that… or else!” ??? Â How many times have you said that knowing full well that in fact there was no “or else” in the cards. Â I am definitely guilty of that one. Â But why bother tagging a declaration to your kids with an idle threat? Â Isn’t it better to just say, “Don’t do that.” Â Period. Â They should know why, and they should respect what we say without the dangling threat of “or else…” Â It is silly. Â They know as well as we do that the odds of there really being an “or else” are pretty thin. Â Say no to “or else”… or else!
4) YELLING AND SCREAMING – This is another one I have certainly been guilty of on occasion. Â Parents are human and we can lose our cool too. Â When we do, it is easy to yell at our kids. Â However, rarely does screaming improve whatever situation you are frustrated about, and it certainly doesn’t give our kids the sense that we are the adult and in control. Â Plus, doesn’t it feel silly afterwards? Â I try hard not to let myself yell and scream at my kids.
5) Lying – Honesty and trust are of paramount importance in any relationship. Â Honesty and trust are essential traits for a happy and successful life, which is what every parent wants for their children. Â You can’t teach your kids the value and importance of honesty and trust if they catch you in a lie. Â Pulling the wool over your kids eyes will only blind them to the importance of telling the truth – always. Â George Washington had the right idea when he said “I cannot tell a lie…” Â We shouldn’t either.
What do you think? Â Do you agree with the 5 things above? Â Are these things you should avoid saying to your kids? Are there other things you would add to this list. Let’s continue the conversation in the comments!
Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 21, Ethan, 19 and Olivia, 18).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.
Photo Credit: © paxi – Fotolia.com
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#3 seems to love to creep into the conversation when we are tired and our regular strategies have fallen victim to fatigue. I find myself saying all those stupid things my parents said. “If these toys are not picked up in five minutes they are going in the trash” Lol. I find that when I am exhausted is when I need to remind myself through pure will power that silly threats don’t work. Good reminders!
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#3 seems to love to creep into the conversation when we are tired and our regular strategies have fallen victim to fatigue. I find myself saying all those stupid things my parents said. “If these toys are not picked up in five minutes they are going in the trash” Lol. I find that when I am exhausted is when I need to remind myself through pure will power that silly threats don't work. They don't work for my wife on me and they definitely don't work on the kiddos. Good reminders!
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#3 seems to love to creep into the conversation when we are tired and our regular strategies have fallen victim to fatigue. I find myself saying all those stupid things my parents said. “If these toys are not picked up in five minutes they are going in the trash” Lol. I find that when I am exhausted is when I need to remind myself through pure will power that silly threats don't work. They don't work for my wife on me and they definitely don't work on the kiddos. Good reminders!
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Great list!! I totally agree with you about #1, in this instance a double standard is for the best.
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I’m a screamer as least I was a couple weeks ago. I realize it does NOTHING to help a situation unless a kid is in danger. I’ve made a decision to stop yelling and start talking. It may not help with a kid’s bad behaviour at that moment but in the long run it’s saving my sanity.
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Great list!! I totally agree with you about #1, in this instance a double standard is for the best.
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Great list!! I totally agree with you about #1, in this instance a double standard is for the best.
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I'm a screamer as least I was a couple weeks ago. I realize it does NOTHING to help a situation unless a kid is in danger. I've made a decision to stop yelling and start talking. It may not help with a kid's bad behaviour at that moment but in the long run it's saving my sanity.
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I'm a screamer as least I was a couple weeks ago. I realize it does NOTHING to help a situation unless a kid is in danger. I've made a decision to stop yelling and start talking. It may not help with a kid's bad behaviour at that moment but in the long run it's saving my sanity.
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Amen brother. We’ve banned cussing and lying from our house. We hold ourselves to that standard along with everyone else.
It’s tough at times but it means no excuses for anyone else.
Cheers to a great share.
Tojosan ‘@tojosan’ Jordan
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I like the way you phrased #5: you can’t teach them the value of honesty “if they catch you in a lie.” I think it’s inevitable that you’ll have to lie to kids from time to time, but you should minimize the likelihood of getting caught.
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Amen brother. We've banned cussing and lying from our house. We hold ourselves to that standard along with everyone else.
It's tough at times but it means no excuses for anyone else.
Cheers to a great share.
Tojosan '@tojosan' Jordan
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Amen brother. We've banned cussing and lying from our house. We hold ourselves to that standard along with everyone else.
It's tough at times but it means no excuses for anyone else.
Cheers to a great share.
Tojosan '@tojosan' Jordan
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I like the way you phrased #5: you can't teach them the value of honesty “if they catch you in a lie.” I think it's inevitable that you'll have to lie to kids from time to time, but you should minimize the likelihood of getting caught.
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I like the way you phrased #5: you can't teach them the value of honesty “if they catch you in a lie.” I think it's inevitable that you'll have to lie to kids from time to time, but you should minimize the likelihood of getting caught.
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By this point, it’s enough for me to say, “What the…” and my 2-year-old completes the sentence. The first time he did that I just stared at him for a couple of minutes, trying to remember when he heard me say full sentence. Truth is, I say it about 50 times a day. What can I say, a lot of things make me Gasp Out Loud.
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By this point, it's enough for me to say, “What the…” and my 2-year-old completes the sentence. The first time he did that I just stared at him for a couple of minutes, trying to remember when he heard me say full sentence. Truth is, I say it about 50 times a day. What can I say, a lot of things make me Gasp Out Loud.
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By this point, it's enough for me to say, “What the…” and my 2-year-old completes the sentence. The first time he did that I just stared at him for a couple of minutes, trying to remember when he heard me say full sentence. Truth is, I say it about 50 times a day. What can I say, a lot of things make me Gasp Out Loud.
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However, rarely does screaming improve whatever situation you are frustrated about, and it certainly doesn’t give our kids the sense that we are the adult and in control.
I have a relatively deep voice so I don’t need to raise it very often. But I find that on the occasions that I do it serves as an excellent tool. They know that I am serious and action is taken.
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However, rarely does screaming improve whatever situation you are frustrated about, and it certainly doesn’t give our kids the sense that we are the adult and in control.
I have a relatively deep voice so I don't need to raise it very often. But I find that on the occasions that I do it serves as an excellent tool. They know that I am serious and action is taken.
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However, rarely does screaming improve whatever situation you are frustrated about, and it certainly doesn’t give our kids the sense that we are the adult and in control.
I have a relatively deep voice so I don't need to raise it very often. But I find that on the occasions that I do it serves as an excellent tool. They know that I am serious and action is taken.
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I don’t agree with #1. I think it’s better to clean up our language to set a proper example. It’s not been easy, but I have seen marked improvement in my teenagers since I scrubbed swears from my vocabulary.
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(double post)
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I don’t agree with #1. I think it’s better to clean up our language to set a proper example. It’s not been easy, but I have seen marked improvement in my teenagers since I scrubbed swears from my vocabulary.
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I don’t agree with #1. I think it’s better to clean up our language to set a proper example. It’s not been easy, but I have seen marked improvement in my teenagers since I scrubbed swears from my vocabulary.
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I don’t agree with #1. I think it’s better to clean up our language to set a proper example. It’s not been easy, but I have seen marked improvement in my teenagers since I scrubbed swears from my vocabulary.
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I don’t agree with #1. I think it’s better to clean up our language to set a proper example. It’s not been easy, but I have seen marked improvement in my teenagers since I scrubbed swears from my vocabulary.
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Thanks John, yes, it is easy to say those things. It seems we have them pre-recorded in our brains somewhere and slip into “parent mode” and they start spewing forth without any thought behind them…lol. Just like our parents did! 😉
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Yes Tracie, rules are meant to be broken (sometimes) and the double standard when it comes to cursing is a safe one to break (I think). F-yeah!
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Good luck Melinda. Saving your sanity is a good thing! 😉
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Thanks John, yes, it is easy to say those things. It seems we have them pre-recorded in our brains somewhere and slip into “parent mode” and they start spewing forth without any thought behind them…lol. Just like our parents did! 😉
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Thanks John, yes, it is easy to say those things. It seems we have them pre-recorded in our brains somewhere and slip into “parent mode” and they start spewing forth without any thought behind them…lol. Just like our parents did! 😉
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Yes Tracie, rules are meant to be broken (sometimes) and the double standard when it comes to cursing is a safe one to break (I think). F-yeah!
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Yes Tracie, rules are meant to be broken (sometimes) and the double standard when it comes to cursing is a safe one to break (I think). F-yeah!
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Good luck Melinda. Saving your sanity is a good thing! 😉
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Good luck Melinda. Saving your sanity is a good thing! 😉
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Thanks John, yes, it is easy to say those things. It seems we have them pre-recorded in our brains somewhere and slip into “parent mode” and they start spewing forth without any thought behind them…lol. Just like our parents did! 😉
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Thanks John, yes, it is easy to say those things. It seems we have them pre-recorded in our brains somewhere and slip into “parent mode” and they start spewing forth without any thought behind them…lol. Just like our parents did! 😉
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Yes Tracie, rules are meant to be broken (sometimes) and the double standard when it comes to cursing is a safe one to break (I think). F-yeah!
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Yes Tracie, rules are meant to be broken (sometimes) and the double standard when it comes to cursing is a safe one to break (I think). F-yeah!
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Good luck Melinda. Saving your sanity is a good thing! 😉
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Good luck Melinda. Saving your sanity is a good thing! 😉