Boo!

With Halloween around the corner, this is a good time to address the art of scaring the bejesus out of your kids!  As someone who worked as a camp counselor for many summers, and who has three kids of my own, I feel I am highly qualified to share some tips on telling a great scary story.  My experiences working on low-budget action/horror films in the late 80’s doesn’t hurt either!

MAD PROPS!

One of my “tricks of the trade” is to use props to bring a story to life. A simple squirt bottle filled with water and a laundry bag or pillow case can all go a long way toward making your scary story memorable. When my oldest son Zach was in the Cub Scouts I volunteered to tell a story around the campfire on one of the overnight camping trips. (Full disclosure: I am a natural born ham and I’ve done a bit of stage acting back in the day.)  My first scary story went over so well that soon my “Sasstales,” as the Troop called them, were a staple of every camping trip. Now that I had an eager audience I was determined to make each new story more elaborate and more scary than the last. Thus, I began to use props.

In the hallowed spirit of Halloween I shall now share with you the ingredients of one of my favorite scary stories, as originally told to Cub Scout Troop 160 in Davie, Florida. Please feel free to take these tips as a recipe for the makings of your own killer scary story. Embellish and elaborate at will…

THE TALE OF THE POISONOUS SPITTING PYTHON…

Required Props:

• 1 Large Pillow Case or Laundry Bag
• 1 Plastic Bottle (filled with water) that squirts when you squeeze it.

Preparation:

Before your audience arrives, place the water filled squirt bottle inside the laundry bag/pillow case, and loosely tie the bag shut.  Have the bag in your hand when you begin.  As you tell the story, without drawing too much attention to it, occasionally shake the bag, and grab it, as if there is something “alive” inside…

SCARY TIP #1:
I have always found it quite effective to localize a scary story and make sure the horrifying tale you are about to tell took place in exactly the location you are situated in when telling the story… many years ago…

The Premise:

(I am giving you the basics – it is up to you to spin a long and winding yarn, for as long as you think your audience can stand it!)

“Many years ago, in this very spot, there lived an odd old man who had a strange hobby of collecting all varieties of vicious, venomous, deadly snakes. His wife and family were none too happy about his odd preference for the slimy and slithery, but they eventually got used to it. In fact, everyone in the town was familiar with the terrariums full of snakes, and the old man even had to have them registered as “deadly weapons” with the local police. His prized possession was the rare, and highly poisonous “spitting python.” This rare, rabid, reptile could spit its venom across a room with uncanny accuracy… and if just a few drops of the deadly dew landed on you, it was over. You had about 30 seconds to live…

One day, nobody had heard from the old snake man and his family for about a week.  Concerned, some distant family members called the Sheriff and begged him to come to the house —  right here where we are tonight —  to check things out for himself.  When the Sheriff arrived, he found a gruesome scene.  The old man and his entire family… were dead!  Poisoned.  The Sheriff looked around, but it appeared that all the snakes were in their proper terrariums and cages…  all but one, that is.  The Sheriff checked the inventory of the registered deadly snakes, and found that indeed there was one snake missing — the infamous Spitting Python!  The bodies of the poor family were removed and the remaining snakes were sent to the zoo…. but they never found the culprit.  They never found the deadly Spitting Python… Until TONIGHT!”

STAGE DIRECTIONS:

At this point you should hold up the laundry bag and shake it and struggle with it as you explain that you found the snake tonight, just before the kids arrived… and if they don’t believe you, you will prove it!  With as much stage presence and drama as you can muster, swinging and shaking it all the while, slowly untie the bag and CAREFULLY reach inside “grabbing” the snake (a.k.a. water bottle) by the “throat.”  Slowly start to withdraw your hand, as if you are going to bring the snake out of the bag.  Walk toward your audience, at the same time making sure you are gripping the unseen bottle with the spout toward the opening of the bag…

“You wanna see the snake???”

With a sharp yell, point the opening of the laundry bag toward your audience and SQUIRT A FEW KIDS RIGHT IN THE FACE!!

As screams, laughter and Halloween mayhem ensue, smile, and show them the water bottle!  (At this point, you will either love me or hate me!)

What is your favorite scary story?  Do you like to tell the stories, or do you like to be told?

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 20, Ethan, 18 and Olivia, 17).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

Photo Credits – Storyteller: Howard Sandler – Fotolia.com, Snake: Brenda A. Smith – Fotolia.com