I have three kids.  The two oldest are boys.  The third, and youngest, is my daughter, Olivia.  From the moment of birth, boys and girls are different.  At least that has been my experience.  As infants and toddlers, the boys were into everything, climbing on furniture even before they could walk.  Bumps, bruises, burns and broken bones were the norm (at one point, Zach visited the local ER so many times the staff knew him by name!).  And then there is Daddy’s Little Girl.  The instant she opened her eyes it was clear that she was different.  Calmer, more alert, to steal a line from JERRY MAGUIRE, she “had me from ‘hello.’” – ok, from “ga.”  It is amazing how quickly and easily a Dad can be wrapped around a little girl’s fingers.  I was smitten.

BOYS WILL BE BOYS.  GIRLS WILL BE… MYSTERIOUS!

Now, of course this doesn’t mean I was any less taken by my boys, it is just that little girls are different.  The boys didn’t care about “spinning dresses” and things in their hair.  And, after all, I had been a boy.  I knew what they were thinking and how and why they did what they did.  But a girl?  I had no clue.  She was (and still is) a mystery.  For that matter ALL of you women are!

FAST CARS AND SLOW BOYFRIENDS…

Suffice it to say we survived the infantry, and successfully tackled toddlerdom.  It is the teen years that have been fascinating for me, and it has been the tweens and teens that has really solidified for me some of the innate differences between males and females that have led JOHN GRAY to place us on completely different planets.  We live in Florida where you can get your driver’s permit at 15 and an ACTUAL DRIVER’s LICENSE at 16.  I grew up in New York and had to wait for age 18 to legally drive.  From the age of 14 my sons monitored the calendar as if their lives depended on it.  The nanosecond they turned 15 they were all over getting their permit, and after that, their licenses.  My daughter turned 17 last month and she has yet to get her permit.  On the other hand… she now has “a boyfriend!”

IT IS TEMPTING TO BE A JERK!

One day in the past year, I am not entirely sure when, I woke up and discovered that my little girl had miraculously turned into a young woman.  How did that happen?  How did she acquire hips, and breasts and a fashion sense? Who has been secretly adding “tampons” to my grocery shopping list?  When did she start speaking to me as a peer and engaging me in normal, LOGICAL conversation?  When did she start making so much sense?  When did Daddy’s little girl become a young woman???  I have to admit, it sort of snuck up on me.  So when the time came for me to “meet” the boyfriend I was tempted to be the classic jerky dad you see on TV… to go up to him and stare at him and say, “I got my eye on you, boy” (or some other wanna be clever but actually inane cliche).  I wanted to instill the fear of all monsters in him, so that he would never dare even think about saying or doing anything that might upset, annoy or take advantage of my darling little girl.  I wanted to be “that guy.”   But of course, I couldn’t.  When he confidently shook my hand, smiled, and said, “Mr. Sass, it is a pleasure to meet you,” how could I return the favor by glaring at him?  I could not.  When I looked at my daughter and saw how beautiful she has become, and how happy she is, how could I do anything but smile in return and engage in friendly, encouraging conversation.  After all, if I have done my job right as a parent, she knows how to behave, and make good choices, and ease her way through the awkward and exciting transition from girl to woman, from child to adult.  I have to have enough confidence in myself to have trust and confidence in her, and in her choices.

POOP AND VOMIT ARE EASY.  LETTING GO IS HARD.

Wiping tushies, and swabbing spittle is dirty work, but easy as compared to watching your children become adults, and letting go to to let them go.  Holding back the desire to control, and letting them have the freedom to make their own choices and decisions, and risk having to suffer their own consequences accordingly, has been for me one of the hardest parts of being a Dad.  I don’t want to let go.  I want to nurture and protect them forever.  I want to warn them and stop them from getting hurt.  If they don’t start “dating” and having boyfriends and girlfriends they can never know the hurt and pain when it ends or doesn’t work out.  Of course then they would also never know the joy and excitement when it does work out.  So, it is with pride that I watch my little girl become a woman, and it was with pride that I watched my little boys become men.  The joy I get in being here to witness their first wobbly steps into adulthood is every bit as exciting as the joy I got from watching their first wobbly steps across the living room floor so many years ago.

And besides, my daughter will ALWAYS be Daddy’s little girl!  Always!

How about you?  Are you ready to watch your little girl become a little woman?

Jeff Sass is the proud dad of ZEO (Zach, 20, Ethan, 18 and Olivia, 17).  He is also a seasoned entertainment and technology exec and active social media enthusiast.  You can see more of Jeff’s writing at Sassholes! and Social Networking Rehab.

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